We’re all coaches now, aren’t we?

Finding the balance
Changing management style to bring in more coaching elements can be a tricky balance. Leadership is a spectrum, with the dictatorial at one end and the consultative at the other. The best managers find a position on the spectrum that they’re comfortable with, and which suits their organization, and adapt it to the circumstances.

A lot of leaders automatically gravitate towards the dictatorial end of that spectrum and struggle to change their style to become more consultative. If you’re going to bring coaching into your work – it’s a skill you’ll need to develop.

Creating the motivation
One of the most powerful drivers that underpins coaching is called ‘intrinsic motivation theory’. To sum it up fairly simply, people will get more fired up about things that:

• They can control
• They’re competent to do
• Meet their social needs

If working relationships meet these three points, people really engage and things suddenly get a lot easier. The challenge is to turn this theory into practice – these four tactics will help:

1. Start asking questions
Asking questions instead of answering them can be a powerful technique, but you need to ask the right question, to the right person, at the right time.

For managers, though, it can be hard to move from answering questions towards coaching. Do it too abruptly and people will feel you’re just countering their questions with more questions. Infuriating!

Intrinsic motivation theory says people respond better when they’re in control. How could that work? It might be as simple as: “I’d like to try something new here… sometimes I find we make real leaps forward when I ask questions instead of giving you my answers. Would you be happy to give that a go?” It lets them decline, but if they say yes – and they always do - you know they’re fully involved.

2. Listen properly – but don’t be a pushover
There’s a fine line between treating people with empathy and being a pushover. Leaders aren’t social workers! So while you’re not there to counsel people, you’ve got to give them proper attention, even when you’re busy – they don’t care how many voicemails, texts and emails you’ve got unread or how many other meetings you’ve got today. All they want is for you to listen actively and intently, whether or not you agree. Motivation theory describes this as supporting their competency: if you find the time to use a coaching approach, you’re showing that you trust your report’s own capability and that you’re open to their input and direction.

3. Stop hugging trees
When the chips are down, you need a clear sense of what you want and where you want to go. Strong teams have a clear sense of direction and leaders who can look further over the horizon than their staff. In uncertain times, senior management teams have to agree on a direction quickly ... yet they must remain open to other views.

There’s a social need here, and that’s for people to feel included during this process. So concentrate on questions that explore their motivation and intentions, rather than making assumptions that lead to distrust. “I want to understand your main priority here”, “What will happen if we don’t follow this course of action?” and “What will be the impact on the staff?”

Sometimes there can be benefits from a more competitive dialogue, but stay away when it becomes entrenched rather than passionate. Really exploring people’s disagreements and positions is the best way for senior teams to settle on a firm course. Disagreements that are hidden will come back to bite you.

4. Get a professional coach in?
Sometimes an external coach can add value to a business, despite their cost. On the other hand, sometimes the cost is more than the benefit.

A fresh pair of eyes should challenge those collective organizational blind spots and ask the questions you’ve stopped asking yourselves. The best external coaches will be skilled at working with managers and their teams to really change the productivity of relationships. And by talking to key colleagues around the manager, the external coach can join up the organizational priorities with the individual manager’s internal motivation and goals.

Traditional management approaches have overplayed the organization’s goals at the expense of the individual. Developing your skills as a managerial coach allows you to develop individuals and teams that are really on the same page, in a direction in which all of you know you are traveling.

Whatever style you’re taking, the quality of listening you bring to any conversation will have a massive impact. Whether you’re taking a more hierarchical approach or more of a coaching role, if you’re listening well enough then the whole process becomes a lot clearer and more effective.

From William Winstone: Tips on how to introduce coaching skills into your management style.

The Power of Questions

As we reflect on our lives and think about are future goals, the questions we ask ourselves are incredibly powerful. The questions we ask require the answers we are looking for in our lives and that we act upon. If we are not going in the direction that will ultimately lead us to our goals, one of the problems may be that we are not asking the right questions.

For example,

Question: Why can't I do this job?
The right question: What talents and skills do I have to do this job?

Question: Why doesn't my partner understand me?
The right question: How can I communicate so that my partner understands me better?

Question: Why do I have trouble working towards the mission of my company?
The right question: Are my values in sync with the mission of my company?

Question: Why do I keep making the same mistakes?
The right question: What can I learn from the mistakes I make?

Question: Why don't they recognize my accomplishments?
The right question: What can I do to celebrate my own achievements?

Question: Why can't I get what I want?
The right question: What is getting in my way from getting what I want?

Question: Why can't I sell my services?
The right question: What value do you I provide to customers?

Question: Why do I consistently miss deadlines?
The right question: What resources and tools do I need to schedule my tasks and be more efficient?

Question: Why did my new campaign bomb?
The right question: What can I learn from the results of the campaign that we can use going forward?

Question: Why can't I live the life of my dreams?
The right question: Will the dreams that I seek make be happy?

Question: Why can't our team be successful?
The right question: What have I done to help my team achieve success?

Question: Why can't I teach others?
The right question: What impact have I made on others?

When we don't consciously answer the “right” questions, we live a life constrained by others and get caught up in our own routine. Answer the right questions and open up the opportunities in your life? Go ahead and try it!